September, 2005

Person A and Person B

This friend of mine from Bombay by the name of Shamik Banargee gave me one the greatest pieces of advice I have ever got and I have not even shared it with anyone. What a dam bastard I am? Anyways this is what he said and trust me this counts in everyday life!!! So Person A is communicating with Person B. Person B seems like he/she doesnt understand what the fuck Person A is saying. You get the norms that he/she doesnt understand or is not interested because you get the little smirks, no eye contact at all, they are fidgiting around, giving that “I dont know/care/understand” look. So whos fault is this??? Should person B be blamed?? Nope Person A… Why??? Well its person A who is trying to communicate right, so he/she should be able to explain or communicate what he/she is thinking using the simplest of words so that Person B can understand. If people just started rambling on their thoughts without considering whether the listener really understands, then there is no fucking point in communicating is there. So it is more important for the communicator to adjust to “noise” and make sure that the listener is getting the “information” that he/she is trying to project through a certain “channel” or “frequency”. Makes sense. …. If it doesnt, you know whos fault it is right???

To all you new Graudates….

Whe you graduate out of college, you imagine that all your projects are just like that cool team project that you did in your CIS 494 class, where the professor was really impressed and gave u an A+. Well boys and gals, unfortunately let me shatter your dreams. That is not the way contemporary businesses work. I think my current project is OVER - GONE - BYE BYE AMIGO kind of stage. This is just the way businesses work. Sometimes you do well and other times you dont. Sucks. Client feels great the first few months and then all of a suddent they are biggest son of a bitches that you have ever met. Sucks. I always imagined projects to be over like a nice broadway play. You have the curtain call, i.e. meet with the client, they accept it, tell u what a great project you have finished and thank you for an excellent job. Then you hug the actors/team players and say they are great guys to work with and then THE END. But hey just another dream and I am back to reality… BANG!!!!

Something new …Hope you {reader} understand …

Pathway to Redemption

Born with the ability to think and learn,
Can I waste my life and just burn?
Born with two legs and two arms,
Can I ponder on about, those who have none?

Born with the ability to change and want,
Can I take on the responsibility that I just so long?
Born with the ability to know wrong and right,
Am I man enough to show others the light?

Born with a family who love and care,
Should I throw away everything and run towards the nightmare?
Born with the ideals of peace and calm,
Can I puncture this feeling of guilt and and cause myself no harm?

Born in a country that desires hate and prays to the holy,
Can I melt the heat that spreads so broadly?
Born with none and born with no ploy,
Can I return as a man and not as a boy?

Thanesh Sadachcharan

So what does it take to have casual sex with someone, anyone? Well, I have absolutely no idea!!! Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesnt, and for sometime now it hasnt happened…LOL …my roomie thinks that a man has to be confident, give a “no-care” attitude and just has to be damn cocky but with an interesting coversation … i think my imagination of interesting conversations are politics, war, religion, etc and i bet if i ever go put to some lady at the bar and say ” soo ummm what do you think of that legislation being passed to reduce gun violence in the Bronx” …hmmm i think i would be lucky to get a smile and a walk away routine… So i guess it takes certain personalties to do this kind of stuff …walk into a bar, talk to some random lady there, make up some coversation and than well hopefully get laid …ME - well i think i am obsessed with the gal who is going to fall head over heals over me… happened twice… i was a stupid boy then and let it go both times like an ass …. well it were good lessons though …so what do i want now ..still the same thing …meet some random gal , start a conversation but hopefully i really like her …no seriously …sometimes i think i am really stupid but hopefully it works out my way …

Difference between America and countries like Sri Lanka/India!!!!

So whats the difference??? Well for some people think that American history is too short and others think that Indian/Sri Lankan history is more important than its present status. As a Sri Lankan I think appreciating once culture, history and traditions is fine, but what annoys me is when people use these entities as an excuse to avoid or hinder progression of the country. If someone is to tell me right now, ” well i dont want a country like America which is too industrialized but I like the way things are right now”. I will probably say “well mate let me send tou back to stone age or the age of apes, you might like that abit better”. It doesnt make sense to say one day that yes we have progressed enough, and I guess thats what some developing coun tries have come to. They are so fantasized by their past that they dont want to think about the future. They are so worried and hurt by the past that they dont want to realize their mistakes and make a better life for their children. I am not pro-America nor anit-America, but I do appreciate the way America does look to the future. It is a country of diversifed people from Cacussion to Chinese to Indian. You want find this many different people in any other country. So my basic point is , we can learn something from this country with its “short” history. We can love our past but we cant keep living it. We got to move on and try to succeed, or atleast die trying.!!!!

Well on the way back from work on Thursday, a very serious dicussion was brought into focus by my workmates. This dicussion was a result of the long drive, thanx to the many drivers on the i-35 because of the hurricane rita. My workmates, including my boss/mentor and I started talking about war, religion and anything that fell along the lane called “sensitive issues”. I was as usual accused of being an idealistic. The themes at the end of the discussion or well you can say when the dicussion ended after i was dropped home, revloved around the separation of states and what it might take to bring humans together. I feel that separation of states does not bring a amiable solution to any kind of problem. History proves this and one just needs to take a look at India/Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, South/North Korea and my own native country Sri Lanka. If Sri Lanka were to separate into Eelam and Lanka it would defintetly have to follow the footsteps of the other countries mentioned. The best way to bring about solutions that can last forever is to make people focus on a common goal. People might have different tastes, preferences, likes, dislikes but at the end of the day, put them in a room and ask them to find a solution to a problem. THEY DO FIND A SOLUTION!!! Look at teams, how do they work? They have common goals. So what can be common goals for humans, well there are many… some of them are 1.) stop making wars and make peace 2.) abolish poverty and hunger around the world. etc, etc, etc….. Look at America, as a state they are weak but as a nation of 50 states - they are strong. So this is my point… we got to believe in people, we go to think that if people join together then they can dream of anything. We got to give people a chance ….We got to live together and DREAM OF UTOPIA or atleast an “idealistic” society…. { To all the people who think I am stupid, Let me correct you, I am just a stupid dreamer }

So got an awesome Bday gift. Got to see the great musician Ravi Shankar in concert. Absolutely fantastic. His daughter Anushka is also GREAT in looks and talent. For an old guy, he is absolutely quick with his fingers. Took him some time to get into the groove, but once in there, unstoppable. I guess it runs in the family, the music genes, including Norah Jones. Thanx Shaq and PK.

In a matter of an hour, I turn one year older. What have I achieved in the past so many years? Well to simply say nothing would mean that I have just let down my parents who have worked so hard to get me to the position I am in now. They had to undergo a lot of problems and hardship in my native country Sri Lanka to get me a good education in the United States. But why do I feel as if I still have not achieved anything? Sometimes I wonder whether I have not gone through enough in life? Not enough hardship not enough pain. I have gone through a lot and have made my self mentally strong but I still feel that I havent seen the worse of the worst. If I were to pray to God and ask him why I got a life like this and some kid in Jaffna got a life like that, he would probably say “Exchange Then”. The kid in Jaffna will probably say yes and I guess I would say yes as well. I am not trying to be a saint or anything because I certainly am not, but as years have gone by I have realized that I am previlged member of the human race, but I feel as I dont want to be. I feel as if every human should go through the suffering that people in Africa or Bosnia or Sri Lanka go through. What makes me so special to get this life I have now? I sometimes get annoyed by little stuff such as my computer being not superfast as the person sitting next to me. But kids in the NE part of Lanka have not even seen a damn computer? Does it make sense that people have such unequal lifestyles? This guilt of such a good life versus the pain some kid my age is going thtough is KILLING MEEEE, and every person I talk to probably thinks I am an idiot. So I guess this is what I am going to do. I am going to hopefully stay healthy till the age of 26. By that time, I hope I have satisfied my parents wishes. I owe them that. Then I am going to join a relief agency like Red Cross and devote my life to teaching kids. HOPE I dont die before that and really hope I dont get married by then!!!

A poem I wrote 4 years ago.  If you want to read it go to http://www.poetry.com and type “Thanesh” under “First Name”.

Undying Love
I want to hold her close,
But I can’t.
The burns on her face,
the scars on her cheeks,
make me resist her,
but i still love her.
In her eyes,
I see the face of the woman,
who helped me when i was sick,
when i needed her to be there,
but i cant hold her,
yet i still love her.
Her soul passes away,
and i didnt hold her whe she needed me,
I wanted to but i couldn’t,
Why did God do this to me?
Why did not God allow me to hold the woman i love,
when she needed me so badly?
Why did I die before she did?

If you think its corny, well this is what happens when you are in love. Try it sometime. Pretty warm feeling. Cant believe I actually won a prize for this!

So what motivates People? I have no idea. I guess its all about getting to know the individual very personally and see what ticks them. I guess what gets my motor running is politics, religion, war and a general argument. All the characterisitcs and traits of a 22 year old, politically frustrated individual who wants to be “super-man” and change the world. But I think I know what really ticks me and gets me to run the 100 metre sprint with my 240 pound mass in less than 5 seconds. Obivously I will not explicitly state that in this blog, just in case a friend of mine reads it and starts annoying me with it. But the question of motivating people will probably lead to the fundamental question of managing people. Managing people, I feel is a skill that can be learnt but there has to be some intuitive, gut actions that really define the “manager”, a leader of some sorts, but doesnt have to be great. Just at times to get the highest productivity and efficiency out of his/her people. So I guess there are three kinds of methods to motivate people. Some people just dont get motivated. Its like that robot “Marvin” from the book/movie “The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. Then there are others who like to be spoon fed, continuously supported through words of wisdom, support and advice. Then there are the ones who get motivated by getting “pissed” off by actions, statements, ridicules,words and smirks. LOL!!! I know what group I belong to!!!!