My Precious Moments … Pain {Fiction}

He held the bottle tightly, remembering everything about her as he swallowed the wine, as if it had the healing powers he had imagined it to possess. Never so much pain, and he laughed. That thought just trickled on forever, he felt. Would it ever stop? He looked around to see whether anyone had been noticing him. The silent night seemed his only partner and as a small gust of wind passed by – he started crying inside again. Why could he not cry out aloud? Shame, fear, hurt, pain or the mere thought that if he cried inside – she would hear him. Was there ever an imaginary thread that could hold two people together, he wondered. He chuckled to himself as he saw a tear fall into the glass – the mere thought of such romantic fantasies should have been left to the television set. He wanted to tear himself apart – for the mistakes he had commited – but what were they? Had he cheated on her, had he played around, had he led her on – the answers to all those he knew were not one that she would believe. Or was he hurt by his unforgivable mistake of just trying to let her go. Hearing those words, none of which were spoken to him – yet words that mattered – the greatest crime of any kind – betraying the trust of someone he cared about as much as he could have cared. The words kept piercing him, letter by letter till he slide down the wall with his back, till he was on his knees. As the river flowed more graciously, he began to feel the word he did not want to hear himself – regret. A beautiful voice, a calming laugh, mind puzzling words and the constant reply of “NO” – it was all gone. It just happened and not it was not there anymore.

He clinched the glass tighter, and saw himself – reflected on a small prism – shone by the slightest moonlight – on the background of a dark red fluid – he still loved her.