Philosophy

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“We hold these truths to be self-evident , that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

A NEW HOPE … A NEW ERA …. A NEW WORLD … A NEW PRESIDENT – YES WE CAN!!

Ever since I took a “self character learning” class at Arizona State University, I have come to understand the most important teaching of that particular lecture. The fact that every good deed conducted by an individual is actually a selfish deed, because of the “good feeling” one has been awarded for such an event. I think ever since then, I have always considered myself a sinner.

What are the levels of defining whether an individual’s character is true/false, good/evil – natural or pretentious? What does an individual have to do in their lifetime to create such a dome of perception in the minds of others? Is it truly necessary to be aware of such inadequacies or misprints in our character to justify social environments and materials or can we live within ourselves and rationalize it with “I can answer to God” one day? I think the latter is just something that everyone preaches but in the socially connected world we live in today, I think it can be said that it is difficult to live within ourselves.

I have made many mistakes in the past and one that stands by so closely to me and redefined me at a very young age was a period of time when I was considered a bully in high school. At the age of 16, I do not think it was inexcusable but I was able to learn from my acts very fast, especially due to events, personal accusations and close friends. I am, to this day, very ashamed of that period of time, but it is something that I have learnt to forgive myself for and trying to walk away.

Recently, I received an email which redefined and probably forever has re-engineered my self image, my perspective -  of myself. The contents of the email cannot be disclosed since I would violate any form of confidentiality/trust that exists, if it does still. But within the time period of me receiving it and to me writing this blog, I have questioned my personal traits, my behavior, the language that I use, my “open book” theory and most of all I have questioned myself of what it actually means to be a “good decent” human being and how far am I from going to hell. I have had incidents where my character has been questioned by others and in recent times an incident comes to mind. But during that period of time, I was hurt by what I felt was false accusations – I did not question myself for I truly felt that I had done nothing wrong and it was a big misunderstanding that will wilt with the test of time. This current environment is totally different and much more complicated because I actually feel that the contents of the email are right – for it comes from someone I truly respect.

One of the few things I do with certain issues that I deal with in life is to set benchmarks. The idea of this is to see how far below the line do I fall, and at times to even validate my behavior. For example – drinking can be a very expensive habit and can lead to disastrous circumstances if consumed on a regular basis without the need for a break. So the benchmark that I prefer to set for this which I think can be considered somewhat “decent” – is to have a drink if possible during the weekend to alleviate the pains of hard work during the week. I am not sure whether this is a good benchmark, but I hope it gives you an idea of where I am going with this. So what benchmarks can we set ourselves with issues that we deal with personally to actually validate the good and bad in us?

A couple of examples:

1.) Is Elliot Spitzer a bad person for cheating on his wife? Does he go to hell? Should that be considered a benchmark for all married men?

2.) Should everyone at work truly exhibit their personal opinions on any relevant issue? If they don’t are they being dishonest? Should this be considered a benchmark?

The greatest confusion that arose after I tried to set certain benchmarks for myself during this period of great distress, is whether such benchmarks are considered “good-enough” or even “worth” in the minds of others. One of the hardest problem to solve is where do we find common ground and whom can we approach to figure this out. Even the greatest friends of mine and myself share fundamental differences in core issues – does this mean that some day my character can be misinterpreted? The other hardest problem is whether the values that we set for ourselves are too “sainthood like” – that we come across as being pretentious and dishonest.

So in all this confusion of trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong and whether my behavior has been appalling-  to receive what I think could be termed as “very passionate, blunt , honest and urgent” language, I have decided that I think I should try to eradicate certain thoughts/ideas of mine which are reflected in my behavior. I do not think the “open book” idea works anymore. It is like capitalism – it only works in the environment where everyone else is open and trying to understand each other with some form of leeway. I think I have to be very careful about trust. I think I should be more aware of individual sensitiveness rather than the naivety that exists in my head.

It is going to be very hard for me, since I am like the over analytical fuel tank. I can keep burning on high if more joy and friendly events/environment exists and occurs frequently but the slightest bit of disappointment and harsh tone could lead to an explosion of distress and depression. Of course it matters whom the catalyst is, or what it is. I am very confused about myself but I think I am trying to be “open-minded” about my lack of character and hopefully sometime soon – be able to readjust and try to conquer this “Utopian” thought of self-righteousness with some what dignity and decency without a false image or being pretentious.

As I write this post, I enjoy the privileges that I am blessed with in a developed nation, with a great sense of humility and respect. The past five days have been a great yet small journey where I have once again seen and felt that so many things that we have worked hard in life – could vanish in a second – and it is important to relish and appreciate things that we take for granted in our lives. Hurricane Ike swept through the South East parts of Texas – Galveston County and its islands, Pasadena, Texas City and other coastal areas – eventually making its way through Harris County and Houston before heading upwards and vanishing into the mysterious airs of Mother Nature. The hype to the arrival of Hurricane Ike was frightening and one could gather the constant fight against decisions and indecisions – should i leave/should i not, should i buy more water/should i not. If anything it would have been wiser to write down such battles within our minds and calcualte which ones were worth the deliberation. Thursday afternoon seemed like the day of the panic button – people lining up to fill their gases, others deciding to head towards the Western parts of Texas and Kroger/HEB/Walmart consumed with people as if were Disney Land. With the help of my colleagues I was able to stock up some essentials – water, bread, butter, Pringles and batteries. Even during the phase of the stock up, we were constantly fighting the battle of “should we leave or not?”.

Friday morning came along and I figured through many phone conversations that most of the people I knew had stayed up all night to figure out what was going to happen in Texas. The decision to not fight the question of leaving vs not leaving was shut down by the local officials as they advised people to stay indoors past noon on Friday. A friend of mine joined me at my house and we decided to ride out the storm. I was going to stay with a few of my colleagues but having more friends join me at my apartment ensured that I cannot do that. Constant calls between friends/colleagues and neighbors including family from outside the country as well as my parents played a critical role in making sure that we check marked all the essential commodities that we needed. It also hyped up the situation playing a good role in pushing up the adrenaline and wondering what was laying ahead. Anderson Cooper of CNN put that all thought of “what to expect” to rest when he blatantly stated what the Federal Weather Department had issued – “if you live in the coastal areas and you do not leave – it is sure death”. Such a warning and if one did not heed it – you would assume they were not in their correct minds or just utter idiots.

Around 9 p.m. the winds started getting a bit more “pacier” and the gusts more frequent. Midnight and the coconut trees along with its cousins were doing the pre-show to the eventual feature presentation. Of course it was interesting to see a couple “getting it on” in the jacuzzi with wind speeds nearly reaching 50mph and things falling everywhere. At least now they have something to tell their grand kids and a possible day of remembrance – or not! The lights went off at around 2 am and the process of getting scared/running around the apartment complex/peeking through windows and starting odd/weird conversations began. Trying to sleep was not an option since the main opera had come to town and it was getting more windier/noisier and much much more pounding with fists of rain. A small sequential firework crew called 75mph Gust boys set to work as we watched in awe and shock as more transformers went off in the gloomy skies. I felt a feeling of appreciation at the power of Mother Nature’s will but also a feeling of helplessness as I foresaw the future – definetly no electricity/water for a few days.

The hammering went for 6 to 7 hours and we waited patiently. It was hard to get through to anyone outside my apartment since the phone lines were jammed and signal strength fading to minus signed bars. As the sun began to creep slowly but surely in the morning, we were able to see what Ike had left behind – fallen trees, debris that had swept across the streets, areas of flooding, houses wrecked, land scapes completely changed, lives lost, business demolished and relief/agony ready to participate. Around noon time, we drove around the areas near my apartment and to count the times we were completely bamboozled was simply impossible. A BMW 5 series car stuck in an area that was flooded atleast to a height of 2 feet signified that nature does not care whether you are rich or poor – democratic or republican – vegetarian or not – just that you were in its damn way – so GET OUT! If life were only that easy – what a complete irony is it not?

The past 5 days have been simply put – tiring and full of lessons to be learnt with a higher sense of appreciation/gratitude for the things that we are blessed with.  As I washed my dishes with a small amount of water that I had collected from the rain water that was falling from the roofs, I realized that it has been some time since I appreciated what Mother Nature gives us everyday – so much so that I went and took a shower right underneath that waterfall.

For more information and pictures please visit:

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And Do not hesitate to volunteer or give some of your hard earned money to those who have absolutely lost everything.

Just a quick question to people who consider themselves “conservative” or “right-winged” – Since you have asked the media, left wing conspiracy authors and other independents to stay out of Sarah Palin’s daughter’s life, would it also be fair to ask YOU ALL to stay out of the lives of others. I think the choice that the family made for the daughter to get her married off to the individual who “does not want to have kids”, is exhibited as a choice made by the girl herself. What if a different girl under different circumstances and context did not have the environment, financial support or the Republican party to give birth to a child because she was raped – can you stay out of her life as well?

Wonder what you would say about Barack Obama if one of his girls would have gone through this… hmmmm….