Principles, Values & Beliefs

In words, while I can only dream of someone who thinks the same way…

I cannot yet set an ultimatum,

For I am not yet sure whether the battle has been won or lost.

Till the last rain drop has dried up,

I promise to fight with valor and pain.

Walked into this journey, did I,

With heart as my sight and my soul at your feet.

I shall not give up, till I know …

That my breath is sedated …

Ever come across a recruiter trying to seduce you to join their organization? The incentives seem so out of the world and magical at the same time. Optimism and opportunity seem to play with each other and you just feel like grabbing it. Yes the grass does seem greener on the other side! Before you plunge yourself into this unwatered territory, just stop and think about the reasons for leaving your current job. If you were forced to leave, then it probably would make sense to quit and take up at an organization where they are obviously making you feel like you are wanted. Having said this, I like to think I practice something different – what I call “try till you just had to give up”. I believe, I am someone who practices and applies the same philosophy regardless of the context/environment of the situation – work/personal/whatever else there is. In love, just like in war and work – I have always thought, very naively of course, that it was very important that I just had to give it another shot – another try – till the conclusion papers fell right on my feet and had highlights which recited “JUST QUIT”.

There seems to be a direct correlation among the people whom I have met who have traits that allow them to look for “greener fields” and “giving up”. A person who is looking for a greener field is always ready to give up, whilst the person who does not look for greener fields – always seems to lack the meaning of “give up”. Now, this does not mean that there is a scientific research done behind such a thesis, and neither do I know of one that exists, but it seems like I would like to make this conclusion – very loud, clear and on my blog (which no one reads of course).

Love just like your work requires a certain amount of loyalty, honesty, responsibility and “never quit” attitude – for if it is not worth it – then why take it up in the first place. Again, there are circumstances when one needs to turn around and just walk away – I understand that, but too many people walk away for reasons that are too minute in my opinion. Too many people walk away because they just “had it”. When such a feeling comes along, when you think all is over and all is lost – I ask you to think about the excitement that flowed through your body when it was your first day at the job or your first kiss.

Remember – and then maybe the greener field wont seem so green anymore – maybe you wont just get seduced by the recruiter and give up …

As I watched the New England Patriots lose to the Indianapolis Colts, and the call made by Coach Bill Belichick – it makes me wonder why a 3 time Super Bowl championship coach would decide to throw, when it was 4th down and 2 yards rather than take the conventional approach of punting. Some would argue that he thought with the defense lagging and Colts Quarterback Peyton Manning getting “hot”, it did not make sense to send the defensive team out again. Others would say that Belichick wanted to prove an aggressive point to the Colts as well as the rest of the league – just like what he had done in the 2007 season when the Patriots went 18-1, and on most days would give the opposition a hiding! Regardless of these arguments or what sides one takes, it is pretty clear to me that Coach Bill Belichick has the gut instincts and mentality to be a winner and the courage to take a risk and embrace it whether it succeeds or not. If anyone had watched the press conference, one would be able to conclude that despite the loss, the coach looked steady, felt that he made the right play, embraced that it had failed and was ready to move on. That is what makes him as an individual – a winner and thus enforces that passion and commitment to others in that organization.

When one looks at history, all great acts of courage, success, rewards and achievements have come in the face of a defining moment – one where a leader or an organization, makes a decision. These are not your typical marketing strategies that are deliberated on for a month or so with statistics and numbers, or the pre-planning to the execution of a project with heaps of documentation. These are “do-or-die” moments if one wanted to add a theatrical ambience to the situation. Great soldiers, sportsmen, politicians and others have defined themselves and their lives by such moments. Whilst a rookie Senator from Illinois decides to take a risk at running for the Presidency of the United States, Steve Jobs decides to revolutionize the mobile phone industry and take on the dominant telecom industry.The decision to revolt against the Crown by the 13 colonies, the soldiers who swam across the shores on Omaha Beach during the Battle at Normandy, clutch decision plays by Michael Jordan, LBJ’s decision to go against the South and pass the Civil Rights Act of 1964 – these are all decisions made by individuals or leaders, that involved a large margin of error and a high percentage of risk – yet I am sure that they all foresaw the positives outcomes, rather than pondering on “too much” about the negative outcomes of the “to-be-executed” scenarios.

I am not suggesting that these individuals did not deliberate on their decisions before it was made, but it can be safely said that many of these folks were going against the numbers. They were going against the norm, the safe bets. Had Kevin Faulk caught that catch from Tom Brady – Bill Belichick’s risk taking abilities would have been hailed all week long and for the rest of the fall season by ESPN analysts. Instead it will be considered a great misread and most of the praising would be thrown at the other side. It remains to be seen whether Coach Belichick will come back from this loss but if a team can lose their only game of the season at a SuperBowl Championship – and return next season with a 11-5 record – I am sure the Patriots will come back from this loss.

As the interrogations and investigations begin on the aftermath of the Mumbai tragic episodes of the past few days, I have a skeptical feeling that within the next few days – there is a high chance that these horrific scenes would vanish from peoples’ minds or simply become a distant memory of the past. Talking to a few colleagues and friends, they seem to disagree and remind me that “this time it is different” – “the bloggers let the world know what is going on”, “it was for 3 days – the terrorists’ siege on the city”, “the media exposed it to the world”, “we have new outlets of media”, “the world is watching”, “this is India’s 9/11″, “citizen journalism has taken this way beyond borders”, and “we are going to be tough from now on”. These are some of the frequent replies and statements that I seem to be receiving when I put my thought across. So maybe it is time we took a look at the past and see whether we see any differences from some of the tragedies that have taken place and whether we remember those tragedies everyday and whether we appreciate – what I think these days with all that is going on in the world – our privilege to live. The tsunami of South East Asia took hundreds of thousands of lives. These days I hardly hear anyone talk about it. Hundreds of people die in Iraq everyday – I hardly hear a whisper. A US soldier dies in Afghanistan – the media is more concerned whether Britney has left her house. Millions of people die of starvation everyday – does anyone care on a everyday basis? There was a clip on CNN IBN where you see people walking as if there was no time to waste in a crowded area. The video looked like it was filmed in a major city. There was an old man lying on the street – seemed like he was suffering from some heart attack – literally dying – and none of the bystanders or people passing by cared. What does this mean?

I think we as humans only need a small dosage of suffering from time to time to keep us grounded. We cannot afford to hear “bad news” everyday. Our own lives, our own problems and our own dilemmas take over and our priority becomes “I” rather than “WE”. It is a sad fact of human life, something that I doubt we can control. When a man is thrown out of his house, loses his job, has to feed his kids – I doubt he has time to look at the Mumbai tragedy or any other sad story of the day and reflect. So to answer my own question – How fast will we forget? Well I think it depends on how fast you want to and how fast another personal issue tries to perpetrate your world.

If we were to take a lesson out of the 9/11 that took place in New York – it is that maybe we can give the job of reminding us about such tragedies – to the media, certain commissions, an organization and other propaganda machines. As much as it sounds sarcastic it is in fact NOT. We need something to consistently and constantly remind us – and outsourcing this element of our lives might be helpful – thus creating that period or second everyday in your life – where after watching that commercial/infomercial or small documentary – you take time to reflect, appreciate, mourn and try to think about the families of those passed away and just hope that they wake up with a smile. Maybe for a second there you might have just thought about “WE” rather than “I” – and that is all that matters.

As we see the fires blaze through the Taj Mahal hotel, newspaper reporters accumulate information and pass it through various media and the horrors/sadness of what has taken place in the high octane city of Mumbai, I wonder about the aftermath of this tragic episode. The question of terrorism – the view of one set of minds and so called freedom fighters in another set of minds seems to be the greatest dilemma in the 21st century. The question is “why” – why are there these different set of minds, what causes boys in their prime teens to take to guns, why do we have such tragic moments and why do we never come together to compromise on a solution. As a citizen of Sri Lanka, I have seen my cities blaze many a times and it continues to do so. From Jaffna to Colombo, we have seen tragic deaths, continuous fighting and no solution in sight. Why does this happen? Can we not shed our pride and come together for a common solution? As i wonder about the LTTE and the current Sri Lankan goverment take on each other, I wonder whether such a incident would take place between the Indian government and another entity – whether its in the form of Pakistan, Kashmir militants or internal indigenous terrorists. Or would this turn into a communal fighting that would lead to more escalation of terror, deaths and loss of every value of being human. Deepak Chopra on CNN came out and said that maybe it is time to figure out the roots of these issues instead of creating the backlash that might provoke more terror. The simple theory behind this is “tit for tat” If a young boy saw his father die in the Mumbai blasts – how would he react to anyone who is blamed for these blasts. How would the young girl in Kashmir react to the deaths of her parents through bombs from government forces? The aftermath scenarios at least in such circumstances seem to be very similar.

I am not sure what is going to happen after this tragic episode – but all I can hope for is that communities come together – whether they are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jewish or of any other faith, ethnicity or background. I can continue to only pray for such hopes.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident , that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Ever since I took a “self character learning” class at Arizona State University, I have come to understand the most important teaching of that particular lecture. The fact that every good deed conducted by an individual is actually a selfish deed, because of the “good feeling” one has been awarded for such an event. I think ever since then, I have always considered myself a sinner.

What are the levels of defining whether an individual’s character is true/false, good/evil – natural or pretentious? What does an individual have to do in their lifetime to create such a dome of perception in the minds of others? Is it truly necessary to be aware of such inadequacies or misprints in our character to justify social environments and materials or can we live within ourselves and rationalize it with “I can answer to God” one day? I think the latter is just something that everyone preaches but in the socially connected world we live in today, I think it can be said that it is difficult to live within ourselves.

I have made many mistakes in the past and one that stands by so closely to me and redefined me at a very young age was a period of time when I was considered a bully in high school. At the age of 16, I do not think it was inexcusable but I was able to learn from my acts very fast, especially due to events, personal accusations and close friends. I am, to this day, very ashamed of that period of time, but it is something that I have learnt to forgive myself for and trying to walk away.

Recently, I received an email which redefined and probably forever has re-engineered my self image, my perspective -  of myself. The contents of the email cannot be disclosed since I would violate any form of confidentiality/trust that exists, if it does still. But within the time period of me receiving it and to me writing this blog, I have questioned my personal traits, my behavior, the language that I use, my “open book” theory and most of all I have questioned myself of what it actually means to be a “good decent” human being and how far am I from going to hell. I have had incidents where my character has been questioned by others and in recent times an incident comes to mind. But during that period of time, I was hurt by what I felt was false accusations – I did not question myself for I truly felt that I had done nothing wrong and it was a big misunderstanding that will wilt with the test of time. This current environment is totally different and much more complicated because I actually feel that the contents of the email are right – for it comes from someone I truly respect.

One of the few things I do with certain issues that I deal with in life is to set benchmarks. The idea of this is to see how far below the line do I fall, and at times to even validate my behavior. For example – drinking can be a very expensive habit and can lead to disastrous circumstances if consumed on a regular basis without the need for a break. So the benchmark that I prefer to set for this which I think can be considered somewhat “decent” – is to have a drink if possible during the weekend to alleviate the pains of hard work during the week. I am not sure whether this is a good benchmark, but I hope it gives you an idea of where I am going with this. So what benchmarks can we set ourselves with issues that we deal with personally to actually validate the good and bad in us?

A couple of examples:

1.) Is Elliot Spitzer a bad person for cheating on his wife? Does he go to hell? Should that be considered a benchmark for all married men?

2.) Should everyone at work truly exhibit their personal opinions on any relevant issue? If they don’t are they being dishonest? Should this be considered a benchmark?

The greatest confusion that arose after I tried to set certain benchmarks for myself during this period of great distress, is whether such benchmarks are considered “good-enough” or even “worth” in the minds of others. One of the hardest problem to solve is where do we find common ground and whom can we approach to figure this out. Even the greatest friends of mine and myself share fundamental differences in core issues – does this mean that some day my character can be misinterpreted? The other hardest problem is whether the values that we set for ourselves are too “sainthood like” – that we come across as being pretentious and dishonest.

So in all this confusion of trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong and whether my behavior has been appalling-  to receive what I think could be termed as “very passionate, blunt , honest and urgent” language, I have decided that I think I should try to eradicate certain thoughts/ideas of mine which are reflected in my behavior. I do not think the “open book” idea works anymore. It is like capitalism – it only works in the environment where everyone else is open and trying to understand each other with some form of leeway. I think I have to be very careful about trust. I think I should be more aware of individual sensitiveness rather than the naivety that exists in my head.

It is going to be very hard for me, since I am like the over analytical fuel tank. I can keep burning on high if more joy and friendly events/environment exists and occurs frequently but the slightest bit of disappointment and harsh tone could lead to an explosion of distress and depression. Of course it matters whom the catalyst is, or what it is. I am very confused about myself but I think I am trying to be “open-minded” about my lack of character and hopefully sometime soon – be able to readjust and try to conquer this “Utopian” thought of self-righteousness with some what dignity and decency without a false image or being pretentious.

Just a quick question to people who consider themselves “conservative” or “right-winged” – Since you have asked the media, left wing conspiracy authors and other independents to stay out of Sarah Palin’s daughter’s life, would it also be fair to ask YOU ALL to stay out of the lives of others. I think the choice that the family made for the daughter to get her married off to the individual who “does not want to have kids”, is exhibited as a choice made by the girl herself. What if a different girl under different circumstances and context did not have the environment, financial support or the Republican party to give birth to a child because she was raped – can you stay out of her life as well?

Wonder what you would say about Barack Obama if one of his girls would have gone through this… hmmmm….